Managing a Mistake

Mistakes are part of sports. You miss the shot. You turn the ball over. You lose your mark. You strike out. You miss a pass. You say something you wish you hadn't.

The mistake happens in a moment. The challenge is what happens after it.

Athletes spend countless hours honing their skills and typically very little time considering how to manage the moment when what you were hoping would happen doesn’t play out.  One of the most important mental skills an athlete can develop is the ability to navigate this because mistakes are inevitable.  Even the best players in the world are going to miss the mark– what they do afterwards is what makes them excellent.  

After a mistake, our brains naturally want to replay it:

• How did I miss that?

• I can't believe I did that.

• What was I thinking?

• Now we're going to lose.

But the play is over. You can't change it.

The only thing you can influence is the next moment.

Try shifting your attention from "What just happened?" to "What do I need to do right now?"

• Where are my feet?

• Where is the ball?

• What's my job?

• What's the next play?

The goal isn't to pretend the mistake didn't happen. It's to resist carrying it with you into the next play. Learn what you need to learn, then let it go. 

A mistake can feel huge in the moment. But one mistake does not determine the outcome of a game.  Remember: it's not a problem until the game is over.

A few years ago, my son's soccer team walked onto the field completely convinced they were going to win their game. They were confident. Maybe a little too confident.

The goal had happened. The score was 1–0. But the game wasn't over. Nothing about that goal meant they were going to lose. They didn't need to panic, get frustrated, or start playing like the game was already decided.

They needed to reset and play.

And they did. They refocused and went on to win the game.

That story has stuck with me because it captures something athletes at every level need to learn:

A mistake is a moment. It doesn't have to become a problem.

When something goes wrong in a game, our brains can immediately turn one moment into a much bigger story.

We can't win.
I'm playing terribly.
We're falling apart.
I can't believe I did that.
Coach is going to be mad.
That's it. We're cooked.

But here's the thing:

The game isn't over.

You missed the shot? Keep playing.

You turned the ball over? Keep playing.

You gave up a goal? Keep playing.

You made two mistakes in a row? Keep playing.

The mistake may have changed the situation, but it hasn't necessarily determined the outcome.

Don't play like it's a problem before it actually is one.

If the game is still going, there is still something you can do.

Work hard to get back into your window of tolerance.

Mistakes can quickly push athletes outside their window of tolerance. Frustration, embarrassment, anger, or fear can send your nervous system into overdrive. You may start rushing, shutting down, blaming yourself, or making decisions you normally wouldn't make.

Before you can refocus, you may need to regulate.

• Take a breath.

• Feel your feet on the ground.

• Slow your body down.

• Look up and reconnect with what's happening around you.

The goal isn't to eliminate the emotion. It's to get regulated enough to respond instead of react.

And if your teammate makes the mistake?

They already know.

They know they missed the pass. They know they turned it over. They know they made the mistake. They don't need you to point it out.

What they may need is someone who helps them move forward.

A simple:

"You're good. Next play."

Or:

"I've got you. Let's go."

Or even just a high five, eye contact, or a nod can communicate: We're okay. You're still with us. Let's keep going.

Great teammates don't make mistakes disappear. They help each other recover from them.

The goal isn't to become an athlete who never makes mistakes. It's to become an athlete who knows what to do when it happens.

Regulate. Refocus.  Let it go.  Get back to your job. And keep playing.

Until the final whistle, there is always another play.

And sometimes, the most important thing a coach—or a teammate—can say is simply:

This is not a problem.

Heeeeey, yeah, I wanna Loop, baby (Shoop)

Yes, that’s a Salt-N-Pepa reference. And I tried really hard not to use it but couldn’t resist.  In case it’s not already obvious, we are featuring Tyler Loop in this month’s resilience report.

There are moments in sports that are hard to leave on the field.  For Ravens kicker Tyler Loop, one of those moments came at the end of last season. With the Ravens’ season (and a playoff spot) on the line, Loop missed a 44-yard field goal as time expired. The Ravens lost, and just like that, the final moment of his rookie season became the moment he would carry into the offseason.  That’s really tough (not “tuff” like the kids say, which I’m told means good).

There is a difference between acknowledging disappointment and allowing disappointment to become the story we tell ourselves. Loop didn't need to pretend the miss didn't hurt. It did. He sat at his locker afterward, read messages from family and friends, and acknowledged that this particular mistake would take longer than the typical “one-minute rule” because it was the last play of the season. Here is a video of Loop answering questions in the locker room right afterwards with an incredible level of grace.  [I guess you could say that he came to his senses and he chilled for a bit]

And then came the harder part: he had to decide to try again.

For an athlete, resilience isn't about bouncing back quickly or immediately feeling confident. It means allowing yourself to be disappointed without letting that disappointment decide what happens next. It means carrying the experience with you while continuing to show up.

In fact, we have used footage of Loop’s missed kick in our mental fitness presentations to highlight just how significant the mental side of sports can be. The physical skill required to make a field goal is obvious. What isn't always as visible is everything an athlete has to manage in the moment—the pressure of the situation, the crowd noise, fatigue, expectations, distractions, and the ability to stay focused on the task at hand. And then there is everything that comes after the moment: the disappointment, the doubt, the questions, and ultimately, the decision to step back onto the field and try again.

Nine months later, Loop got another chance.

With the Ravens and Cowboys tied at 31 in Brazil, Baltimore needed a field goal as time expired. Loop lined up for a 56-yard attempt and drilled it, giving Baltimore a 34-31 victory.

And then, just one week later, he did it again.  [Bet your bottom dolla he was best under pressure]

This past Sunday against the Tennessee Titans, Loop nailed a 64-yard field goal as the first half expired—the longest field goal in M&T Bank Stadium history and the second-longest in Ravens history.

After that 1st one, his teammates ran toward him. They hugged him. They lifted him onto their shoulders. They celebrated with him. This was a player who had experienced one of the loneliest moments in sports—a missed kick with the game and season resting on it—and now his team was making sure he didn't experience the opposite moment alone.

The story isn't that Tyler Loop missed a kick and then magically became someone who never misses (I’m sure he wishes that could be true!).

The story is that he kept putting himself in position to take the next kick and having the right people around you who remind you that one moment—good or bad—is not the entirety of who you are.

Tyler Loop didn't erase the miss in Pittsburgh.

He didn't get to go back and change it.

He simply kept going.

And now, we are thrilled to be able to add his resilience to the example we have used to demonstrate what it means to be just as mentally fit as you are physically fit. The physical ability to make a 56- or 64-yard kick matters. So does the mental fitness required to manage the pressure of the moment, stay present, trust your preparation, and then recover when things don't go your way.

Playbook

At Endūre, we work individually with athletes to understand what gets in the way of being able to do this well and, more importantly, practice the skills that help them recover in real time. We help athletes learn how to manage the emotional response, quiet the spiral of self-criticism, refocus their attention, and get back to competing—without letting one mistake lead to another.

Recovering from mistakes isn't something every athlete automatically knows how to do. It's a mental fitness skill that can be learned, practiced, and strengthened. Reach out if you want to set up a time to talk with us or if you want to set up a presentation for your team.

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